Alf is not Gay!!!1

I was just minding my own business on the Facebook the other day looking up girls I had gone to highschool and had either been humiliated by or ignored (there are a lot of them) when a coworker of mine from the security guard service posted this horrific image on my wall:

After the horror at seeing my favorite number 1 hero of all time making out with a dude, I thanked the heavens that mom doesn't know how to use a computer. Well, she can manage to use the library computer to get on craiglist to get a lot of dates, but that's about it. I flipped out on Carl and he didn't get why I was so mad. He thought it was funny. FUNNY THAT ALF COULD BE A GAY!!!!

There's no way that Alf could be gay. First of all, he had a girlfriend on Melmac named Rhonda. Secondly, Alf is pure and natural and gay stuff is against nature and everything like that. Yeah, everyone has some strange thoughts and dreams sometimes. And sometimes when jerking your pee-pee, you might find yourself thinking about dudes. But that's not natural. That's what the loving power of Jesus is for and taking those terrible and oddly exciting thoughts and burying them deep down where they won't bother you anymore! And if that doesn't work, you can go to Straight Arrow Bible Camp for Teens where they starve you, dunk you in freezing water, and scream at you until you're cured. Now that's the natural way of things! It worked for me!

If God wanted there to be gays, he would have made it Adam and Steve, or in this case Alf and Ralf. Get it? Haha

Alf rules!